more letters and email  -  2


yet more selected emails

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -

   I just  found out my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. He says he is sorry and it will never happen again. He tells me he loves only me and that my friend came on to him when I was out of town. He asked me to marry him and I just don't know if I can ever trust him again. My girlfriend keeps phoning leaving messages that she is sorry and she wants to keep our friendship. She also gave me all the details of the affair and said she was sorry for letting it go on for so long. My boyfriend said it was a one night stand. Who am I to believe? 

Chandra

 
Dear Chandra  -  

   Best friends like her - who needs enemies? Friends don't ever do that to someone they care for. She sounds like she is trying to to get your man for herself and maybe you should let her have him as they seem suited to each other. The problem is someone is lying about the time element.

If you decide to give your boyfriend another chance I would make sure he knows you will drop him like a hot potato if you even think he is straying. Nevertheless this is not good for a start to a marriage. Don't make any decision for  a year and see if he is the one who will make you happy for the years to come.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My husbands brother is always bragging about how much money he makes. He keeps putting down how we live our lives. We are comfortable and own our home but we have to budget for the extras. He wants us to go away with him and his family this summer on holidays. I know we would spend far more on a trip with him than we would going ourselves. I said no when he brought up the subject, now he keeps asking my husband when I'm not around. My husband does not want to hurt his brother and thinks we should go. I work part-time for our extras and don't feel like spending it having a holiday that I would not enjoy with this braggart. His wife and I have nothing in common and neither do our kids. Now I am getting the silent treatment from his family. Any suggestion? 

 Sister-out-law

 
Dear Sol  -  

   Tell your husband that you only have a holiday once a year and you certainly want to enjoy it and that is why you work for those special times. If he wants to spend time with his brother tell him to save up for a week-end away with him. A game or fishing trip? I would be honest with your brother-in-law and just say he would drive you crazy going away with him. Say it with a laugh and add that he is welcome to spend some of his fortune on a week-end with his brother, as he always is talking about having so much. This will probably start a family feud, but you don't sound too interested in any kind of relationship with them anyway. You're really  only suggesting he put his money where his mouth is.   

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My gay brother just came out of the closet. Now he is hitting on my dates when they come to pick me up. I have told him to butt out and he just laughs at me. He insinuates that I am the one with the problem. How can I deal with this?

 Embarrassed  and pissed off

 
Dear  EAPO -  

   He is pulling your chain and its called sibling rivalry. But you are not rivals for the same men. I think your brother is just enjoying his new freedom with you. Warn your dates ahead of time so they can take that extra step to let him know he is not their type. Play with it and take it in your stride, he will get tired of the game quickly when he gets no reaction.   

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
  My  husband and I were out for dinner last week and we bumped into my Dad with another women. I made a scene in the restaurant and yelled at him. The women was much younger and looked like a  prostitute. My husband was furious at me for embarrassing him and my Dad. My Dad called and apologized and asked that I not mention this to my Mom. I did not accept this and told him if he didn't tell my Mom I would and hung up. My husband has told me to mind my own business. My thoughts now are if he thinks this way, is he accepting men can cheat on their wives. Should I tell my Mom as I will not be in my Dads company again and my Mom will wonder why.

   Crushed  

 
Dear  Crushed -  

    It was unfortunate that you saw your Dad with this other women. But you don't know what goes on in your parents lives and perhaps your Mom already knows. ???  As for your husband it sounds like he is more mad at missing his meal and being embarrassed. Sit down and discuss this with him and listen to his reasoning. Not that he is condoning your father's behavior but you need to know his thoughts on this. Men are such wimps at confrontations with parents.
I am sure your Dad is feeling guilty at you seeing him. Time will heal but that does not mean you will look at your Dad with the same feelings and he will know it.  And after all, it is between your Mom and him anyway.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My girlfriend has been having an affair with a guy she works with. I first thought it was just a fling but now she is talking about leaving her husband of ten years for this jerk. He is married and has a couple of kids and very immature for his age. He has one child from his first marriage which only lasted a few years. We live in a small community and I am sure the gossip is going strong about these two. She won't listen to any advice that I give her and now it is affecting our relationship. My husband tells me to just butt out of her life and let her ruin her marriage on her own. Should I?

 Scared for her future 

 
Dear  SFHF -  

   Take your husband advice, you can't help if she doesn't want or ask for it. If this guy has had two marriages already, the percentage of marriages failing is at eighty percent for another to fail. Hopefully she will come to her senses before it's to late. In a small town maybe her husband is already aware of her fooling around. Not your concern or business.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My sister and I have not spoken for five years. Now she wants to visit from out of town and asked if she and her family could stay with us. Our home is big enough, but I think it would be very uncomfortable having them here. She has always been cheap and I feel she just wants free accommodations as her son is in a soccer tournament for the week-end. When she asked she ignored the fact about us not talking for so long. That is another story. Any suggestions on how to deal with her?

 Sister in Seattle 

 
Dear  SIS  -  

   If you don't feel comfortable tell her your feelings and suggest that you could find her a hotel close and that her family could come to dinner after the game. Why not go to one of the games and have some time talking about why you and her have been estranged for five years. Maybe that will be the start of you both forgiving and forgetting. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My mother is a pain in the ass, that is putting it mildly. She constantly phones at dinner and wants to tell me all her problems of the day. She has no friends and argues with her neighbors daily. She gets annoyed if I say we are just sitting down to dinner could I call her back later. Then she sulks till the next call. How can I break this habit of hers?  

   Daughter  of a miserable Mother

 
Dear  MOAMM -  

   Get call display, and don't answer.wer!  

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    How can I tell my friend when she asks for advice, then before you even finish your sentence to help her she continues to say "oh that is not me". I'm at the end of my patience with this person. Should I just say to her either listen or don't ask?

  Sally

 
Dear  SIN -  

   No one sees themselves like others do. If she is asking you for advice tell her to keep quiet and listen. If she can't do that then don't waste your time. These type of people rarely want to hear the truth about themselves. Tell her to go to a psychologist and pay him/her to listen. That should get you off the hook. Usually when people ask for advice they just want to confirm what they are thinking. Free advice is usually not taken.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    I never thought I would be writing to anyone at my age for advice.  My husband died two years ago, we had been married for fifty-five years. It was a happy marriage and I miss him terribly. My children want me to sell my home and move into an apartment. I love my garden and able to keep up the house with a gardener and cleaning lady . I have enough money to travel and have a good life. The problem is one of my sons and his wife want me to either sell them the house or put a mortgage on it so they can buy. I have three other children two which are financially stable so they don't need my help. The other one has made it clear to me that if I sell they want a share . What would you suggest?

   Mother  of four

 
Dear  MOF -  

    Stay in your house for as long as it suits you. Sounds like you have a couple of spoiled greedy kids. You don't owe any of your children a thing. If you have extra money to lend them a down payment that is different. When they show you they have saved towards a down payment then help them out , not by selling your home. Just because two of your four are fine financially doesn't mean  that they should not share  equally in your will. Till then enjoy your house and holidays you certainly have earned your retirement . Stop worrying about your kids you have no obligations to any of them and should feel no guilt. Enjoy your home garden, travel as I am sure that is what your husband would have wanted for you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am still a virgin  and my girlfriends are always talking about climaxes. I am thinking about having sex with my boyfriend in the next while and want to know how I will know if I have one. One  friend says she has many every time ,other say they don't and another said never. Help as I don't want to sound naive and  inexperienced.

Bethany  

 
Dear  Bethany -  

    There is nothing wrong with being naive or inexperienced when it comes to sex.  Just because your friends are sexually active you don't have to rush it. You don't say how old you are so go to the library and pick up some books on sex. Joy of Sex comes to mind. Climaxes come from having a partner that cares about you enjoying as much as he is. Some women take longer to reach a climax than others. It come from trying different position with your partner and being completely relaxed.  You will know when you have reached yours. I promise. If not learn how to fake it, three moans works fine.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I feel guilty .One of my girlfriends told me something in confidence and I told another friend. She must have told someone else and it got back to her and now she knows it was me who couldn't keep her secret. Should I apologize and tell her I was drinking and it slipped out?

   Big mouth

 
Dear  BM -  

    I am sure she has learned her lesson not to trust you with any secrets again. Hopefully she will pass on to friends on what you did so no one else will confide in you. I am amazed at how few women can  keep a secret. Men seem to be able to keep their mouths shut about their buddies.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    I have been happily married to a wonderful man for twelve years and we have two great kids. I have had two affairs in these twelve years and never told anyone. Now one of the guys is moving in across the street from us with his wife. Their kids are ages with ours so I am sure they will play together.  And I am sure we will get together with them and other neighbors at barbeques and parties. I am afraid that my former lover may talk when drinking at a gathering. Should I tell my husband about this to make a clean slate?

   Bothered and guilty

 
Dear   BAG -  

    Clean slate for who? I am sure your ex-lover is just as worried about you spilling the beans as you are. Why not talk to him discreetly to make sure that he knows it is finished. Tell him to keep your dirty little secret between yourselves, then nobody gets hurt.  Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.  You better go back to your first line though, and define 'happily married'.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am in a dilemma. My father has asked if he can come live with me and my family. He is getting on in years and forgetful about looking after himself and eating properly. My husband and the kids don't want him to move in with us. They think we should put him in a place that has assisted living where he would be with people his own age and be looked after by professionals. I love him dearly but I work full time and my kids are teenagers who have busy schedules. We have a large house and he could have a separate area downstairs which is fixed up very nice. I need help in what to do as I feel so guilty.

   loving daughter

 
Dear  LD -  

   You seem to be the only one in your family with any compassion. Granted it would be a big change for the family. And for an elderly man it must have been difficult for him to even ask.

You have not said how old he is. Or if he currently has his own house. Or how long since his wife died? Or if he has much money.

So I will make my own scenario: He is old and you and your family are 'Me' generation people and have no time for him. I think he hasn't a house so there isn't a greed factor of getting him out of there so you can sell it. I suspect he has no one to confide in except you since he is alone. He might have a little money but not enough to put up with him for.  Older people just don't fit into your active lifestyle, they're just not cool.

Sadly, I suppose this is the state of the world today. Maybe you all need to move to China or somewhere where old family members count. How hard would it be to make a place for him in your basement? How hard would it be for his grandchildren to miss a schedule to spend some time with him? How hard would it be for your husband to take him to a game and buy him a beer once in a while?  YOU need to take control of the situation, it's your father. BUT, making him feel shut out of your family life by ignoring him will be a worse step in you feeling guilty, So think on how it would work out  carefully.

What about a compromise? Try to find a place close to your house so he could come and maybe stay over a few week-ends. Then his grandchildren should make an effort to visit him to see how he is making out in his new surroundings. (assuming you could make them care) It will probably take him awhile to get settled in a new place, but he might meet new people and lose interest in coming to stay with you. Hopefully he will meet someone who is interested in him while he is alive.

You're the only one who can make yourself feel guilty.  I suspect your husband and kids won't. Guilt shouldn't be the motivating factor here, Love should be.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

I am off to university this fall and my boyfriend  wants me to  change to the university in our city. I have a chance to go to Harvard on a scholarship with a better chance of making something more for myself. He keeps saying if I loved him I would stay here. I do love him, but I feel I would be selling myself short. Am I being selfish? 

Samantha

 
Dear  Samantha  -  

   Your not being selfish he is. This is a great opportunity for you so look after yourself. I am sure there is many who would grab this four years of education.  If your relationship with your boyfriend is meant to be he will be there when you come home. The next four years you may grow apart then it was not to be. Enjoy all the experiences that come your way as this chance only comes once in a life time.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    I am sixteen and a gay male and just came out to my family. They must have had some idea as they all seemed fine after I told them. Problem is they don't want me to tell my grandparents about my sexuality. They will be paying for my university for the next four years. My parents cannot afford to send me and feel that my grandparents would not support me if they knew. I am in a dilemma on what I should do but won't even be in the same city as them while in university. Should I tell them and risk not being able to further my education?

Bill

 
Dear  Bill  -

    Different generations act differently towards homosexuality. Maybe they already do know just like your family and it wouldn't make any difference with their love for you. Do your parents know for sure how they would react to your life style? You're the same person either way.  I would say nothing to them unless they come out and ask you directly. Let them make that decision only if need be.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My husband is a great father and husband. My problem is he never wants to have company over. He works hard all week and just wants to sit  and have a few beer and watch sports on the week-end. I am feeling depressed over this. How can I make him more sociable?

Want More

 
Dear  Want More -

   I would suggest a compromise, once a month invite friends over for dinner or make plans to go out. Tell him after the arrangements are made. Once the plans are done I am sure he will enjoy the evening. Then make plans for yourself to have a  girls night out  a few times a month. Ask yourself if he spends quality time with you and the kids, if so you are very fortunate to have good husband and father. No man is perfect.

Auntie Jane

 
 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My parents and two sisters are arriving for their summer vacation in two weeks. We have a condo with three bedrooms. Problem is they want to spend the whole month with us. My husband says he will put up with them for one week no more. How do I approach this with my relatives. I know they will be hurt and it will cause me so much stress.
Caught in the middle
 
Dear  CITM  -

   Tell your husband that you will meet him half way, then tell your relatives  two weeks is all that you can manage this year. Its your home as well as his so you should be able to have your family visit. Suggest to them that you could find them alternate accommodations so they can explore other areas. A month is a long time for them to expect to stay with you.  Hopefully your husband will be gracious for their  two week stay. House guests are like fish after three days they start to smell.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   What is a good age to have sex? I am fourteen and my boyfriend is nineteen. He says he is losing patience with me being indecisive about going the distance with him. I don't want to lose him as he makes my heart throb and I am crazy about him.

Still a virgin

 
Dear  SAV -

  He could end up with a criminal record for the rest of his life and spend some time in jail as you are underage. My question is why a nineteen year old is hanging around with a girl of fourteen? Find some friends your own age and just enjoy being a teenager. You have lots of time to get into serious relationships. If he loves you he will wait until you become of age and not pressure you into having sex. I would suspect that your parents, for whatever reasons, don't know of this relationship. In which case you need to look out for yourself. This is very dangerous as the consequences would be serious for both of you. Being a virgin at your age is a good thing. Your mind and body need to mature.  .

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My  mom always thinks she is right. I want to make my own decisions as I am now sixteen. She continually  wants to know my every move, where I'm going, who I 'm seeing and who I'm talking to on the phone. She is driving me crazy and I need you to tell her she should let me decide who I choose  to hang with. I have to be home by eleven through the week and midnight on week-ends, which is not fair. My friends all say she is far to strict. Please set her straight.

Unloved teen

 
Dear  Sweet Sixteen  -

   You are so blessed to have a mom that loves and cares for you. At sixteen it's you who needs to be set straight, not your mom. Whether you think it or not, you are very vulnerable at sixteen to peer pressures and your mother is anxious to protect you.  I think she is being very lenient with your curfew. She is doing a good job to want to know who your friends are, where you are going and who you are talking to. Make a decision and then discuss it with your mother. Communication is the key here. When she sees that you are being responsible, many of your decisions will be just fine. Then her job will be only to observe and guide you in the right direction. Don't hurry to be an adult, enjoy Sweet Sixteen.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I have been trying to break off with my boyfriend for a month now. He won't take me seriously and continues to call me. I caught him following me the other day. I confronted him  and all he says is if I don't go back to him he will kill himself. We are both teens and I just don't want to see him anymore. I think he is going to do something stupid. What should I do?

Scared

 
Dear  Scared  -

   Get your parents to contact his parents about what is going on in their son's life. He needs counseling and you are not equipped to help him. He could be just trying to scare you into renewing this relationship, but you can not take that chance. His parents need to be aware of his threats. Let them deal with this. I would stay away from him and if he continues to follow you then contact the police.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My Mom said to write you and ask if I should be allowed to have my ears pierced and be allowed to wear lip stick? I am twelve and feel I am old enough. Please, please agree with me.

Waiting for your reply

 
Dear  WFYR  -

   I think you are old enough to have your ears pierced. Wait till thirteen for lip stick. Maybe when you go out with your Mom on special occasions she will allow some lip gloss.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I married a man eighteen years my senior. He is retired and I still work. My problem is he has lost all interest in sex and I haven't. I am thinking of having an affair with a man in my office who has made it clear that he is interested. I am only forty one and feel I'm in the prime of my sexuality. I love my husband but feel I'm missing so much out of my life. Should I take the risk of losing my security with my husband and just go for the affair?

Unsatisfied
 
Dear  Unsatisfied   -

    Fifty-nine  is young for a man to lose his sex drive. He should go to his doctor and find out if there is an underlining problem with his health. If he is on medications that could be the problem, which the doctor can help fix. You say you love your husband, or are you in this marriage for the security?  I would hold off on the affair till you find out if he can regain his sex drive. Eighteen years doesn't have to be a big difference if you love and care for each other. Maybe you could entice him with some new flimsy night wear. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am married and love to entertain. I have many single friends who seem to always want to come over to our place for dinner, drinks,  going as far as inviting themselves. But never invite my husband and I to their places. I say I love to entertain but it is expensive to buy liquor and food when it's always one sided. How can I get them to do their share. 

Going broke

 
Dear  GB  -

    If they are your friends don't put restrictions on their friendship.  Would they be intimidated  by your flair for entertaining? You don't mention your age group, but in mine my friends always bring more wine than they drink. I too love to have friends over and love to cook. Not all people feel comfortable in the kitchen. If they lack the social graces of entertaining a book on etiquette might be a good gift for them. If you feel like it's one sided then have them less often, and just enjoy them when you feel like it.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

  My son and his wife want to come and live with us to save money for a house. We have a finished basement but no kitchen facilities down there. That would mean they would be eating their meals with us. They both work so I would be the one cooking. To be honest my husband and I are enjoying our time now without any responsibility since we retired. I feel guilty by not helping them out but really feel this would not work and would cause friction. Any ideas?   

Retired and happy

 
Dear RAH  -
   Have you heard the word "NO " it's in the dictionary. Your job is done raising your kids and it's time to enjoy your lives. If you have any spare cash offer to lend them some to get into their own place. Just be honest and tell them you love them and enjoy their company and you want to keep it that way. Nothing brings conflict more than  two different generations living together. No one can make you feel guilty except yourself. self.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am thirty one, my guy is twenty, he is not as good at sex as what I have had in the past. I have tried to teach him a few tricks on how to perform, but he doesn't seem to get it. We have a great time otherwise. Should I keep trying or dump him?

Cougar

 
Dear  Cougarette -
   Are you sure you're not the twenty year old? You don't sound like a cougar to me, more like a bimbo. If you want to see someone perform go to the circus. Dump him for his sake.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My husband  Arthur, retired six months ago and is driving me crazy. He follows me around  the house all day asking me what I'm doing. When I go out to the garden to work he stands there like a  garden gnome just watching me. When I go to lunch with my lady friends he sulks. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Help before I do  something rash.

Has Arthritus

 
Dear  HA -
    You need help or you'll be the one with the rash. Arthur needs a hobby, buy him a computer and send him to a class to learn how to use it. I  have known men to vanish for days on a computer. Normally a bad thing but use it to your advantage. When gardening hand him a shovel and have a project for him, preferably at the other end of the property. Continue having lunch with your friends and let him sulk. Put some restrictions on that computer though because you don't want him surfing girlie sites and then attacking you behind the dahlias. Even arthritic gnomes can be dangerous.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

      My husband says he loves me, but continually takes his motherís side in every argument that her and I have. She continually tries to undermine me at every turn. I canít stand to be in the same room as her any more. I refuse to invite her over for dinner again as she always finds something wrong with what I serve. She left before dinner was finished a week ago as I told her if she couldnít say anything positive about the food to keep her mouth shut. He thinks she deserves an apology from me, he hasn't spoken to me in a week. I donít think I was wrong and she should be the one apologizing to me. Any advice would be helpful for the bitch and her baby boy.

Pissed Off Wife

 
Dear  POW  -
    Woo, strong feelings which seem to have built up. First, ask yourself if youíre feeling jealousy towards this woman? And have you tried honestly to get along and not take every one of her comments as a start to an argument. If you can be honest and say no to those questions then your husband should start supporting you instead of his mother all the time. It's not supposed to be a competition for his attention. (Unless he's one of those spoiled Italian princes) Maybe itís time for him to cut the apron strings. A week seems a long time to go without talking. Is he sulking? Communicate with him (NOT in an apologetic tone) and tell him you're not going to be in competition with his mother.  And until he tells her to keep quiet and not interfere in your life you will not be inviting her back.  Meanwhile, try not to fist-fight with either of them. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
    I married a slob, we didn't live together before we married. What a rude awakening for me to see how he just drops his cloths everywhere. He leaves his dishes on the floor by the TV, never cleans up after showering or using the bathroom. How can I break these terrible habits?

Maria

 
Dear  Maria  -
   Tell him first you're not his maid and you're going to take pictures of every mess he leaves and send them to his boss, mother and all his friends. Then do it if he doesn't smarten up. Don't start a family with him until he is trained, or you will be cloning mini slobs.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
  I just found my wife in bed with her girlfriend. We have been married for fourteen years and  I thought we were a happy couple. She tells me it was their first time together and it just happened after drinking a bottle of wine. She says she loves me and it was a mistake and has said it will never happen again. How can I believe her? 

Crushed Husband

 
Dear  Crushed  -

  You could put this experience down to the wine, or there might be something lacking in your sex life with her. Or she is a latent bisexual. Either way you both have to discuss this openly. Perhaps you need to  understand what she is feeling about her sexuality? She was induced or seduced into her behavior. Perhaps her girlfriend is gay? This could have been just an exploration. Perhaps you need to take her at her word? Her name isn't Katy Perry is it?

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My girlfriend said I had to ask your opinion. We have been going together for three years, and I want to take a break and date others as well as her. She says if I go out with anyone else we will be through. I don't think she is being fair. I would only sleep with her.

Barry
 
Dear  Barry -

    'ONLY' sleep with her? You did not mention your age,  I'm  assuming  you're a teen from your immature comments. You should date others if you feel so inclined, but don't expect to have any relationship with this girl while doing so. I hope she won't sleep with you while you're playing the field. You should grow up and mature before starting or continuing anything resembling intimacy with one person.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am a divorced  women of forty. I have met this wonderful man who wants us to move in together. I have three  teenage children. They have made it clear if I  go ahead and let him move into the house with us they will go live with their father. I am heart broken over this, but I feel I deserve another chance at happiness. Any suggestions?

Need some happiness
 
Dear  NSH  -

   You did not mention the time frame of how long you have been divorced, or how long you have known this man. That would make a difference in my answer. If it has been over two years and you have know this man for over a year, then I would say go ahead and let the kids move to their father's if he will have them. Yes, you do need to get on with your life and the children should not be dictating what you should be doing. But be prepared to deal with their attitudes in the future because they probably won't move. Then your friend will have to tread softly until they get to know him. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    Summer is here and my Mom won't let me stay out longer than midnight. My friends have no curfew. I am sixteen and feel she should trust me. How can I get her to stop being a drag on my social life.

Michelle
 
Dear  Michelle  -

   Your very lucky at sixteen to stay out until midnight. What would any teenager be doing after midnight even in the summer except getting into mischief. At sixteen my curfew would be ten o'clock. Your Mom must really love you more than your friend's parents.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

 My husband has a girlfriend, he doesn't know that I know about her. I had our first child three months ago. Should I confront him? I have nowhere to go or I would leave.

Betty
 
Dear  Betty   -
   First if you decide that you can't live with him, it's him who has to leave. You need a home for your baby as well as child support from your husband. You need to sit down and find out why he is having an affair in the first place. Maybe counselling would help to get back on track with your marriage. That is something that you can only decide. There are many agencies for you to go to for help in your area. I have sent you via separate email some choices.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   What is with this generation, they seem to be oblivious to holiday celebrations. Are they just  too lazy to entertain on special occasions. I grew up in a family that was always having friends and relatives over for  dinner or a get together. Kids as well as adults laughing and enjoying each other's company.  Friends of mine had their forty-sixth year anniversary and didn't even get a card  from their children. Very selfish in my opinion. I would like your input.

Old friend
 
Dear  OF   -
   I think I know how your friends felt, hurt most likely. These days its a miracle to last in a marriage that long. People who do should be complemented on their staying power. Nobody goes through marriage without bumpy roads along the way. I would say for forty-six years they deserved some celebration. If you're a close friend maybe it would be an idea to put a bug in the children's ear, so they'll have a plan going for the parents fiftieth. If they make that milestone.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My boyfriend wants us to go away on a holiday to Greece this fall. Problem is my parents don't want us holidaying together till we are married. We have been intimate for quite sometime just haven't told them. We have no plans for marriage in the near future, just want to travel together and enjoy each other. We are in our twenties. What should we do?

my old country parents
 
Dear  MOCP  -
   If you're in your twenties its time to cut the apron strings and try being open with your parents, unless you want to stay the virgin daughter in their eyes till you decide to get married. Old country or not they will get the idea once your plans are made. They probably know already. This IS the 21st century. IS

Auntie Jane

 

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Dear Auntie Jane -

    I met this guy on the internet. He is handsome, well read but never stops talking. I never get to carry on a conversation as he is non stop jabber. How can I tell him to shut up and give me a chance? 

Aggie
 
Dear Aggie  -
    Easy, just tell him to shut up and give you a chance. Don't be surprised if he stops calling you though. Some people just like to hear themselves. selves.

Auntie Jane


 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   A close friend has asked me to lie for her to her husband. She is seeing someone on the side and tells her husband that we are together. I don't like to be put into this position and have told her this to no avail. My husband answered the phone the other night and told her husband that I was in the bath. My friend explained  to her husband that our plans had changed and she just went shopping. Now my husband  is asking me about what is going on, and if I am doing the same thing. I have a great marriage and don't want to be held guilty by association. Should I lose her as a friend?

Trying hard to be a friend
 
Dear  THTBAF -
   She is not a friend if she is putting your marriage at risk. Explain to your husband that you told her that you were not comfortable with lying and she just ignored the issue. Tell her as well as your husband that you will not back her up and not to use you as a alibi again. If she wants to have an affair that is her problem not yours. Some friends come and go, she sounds like one who should go.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    How do I tell if I am in love with this guy, he treats me like a princess and sex is okay. Everyone of my friends tell me that bells ring for them while having sex. It doesn't for me and I feel something is missing. He wants to get engaged, but I am hesitating as I feel there should be more in our relationship. I was a virgin when I met him. Help...

Undecided
 
Dear  Undecided  -
   Maybe you should take some time to date other fellows before you settle down. Be honest and say you need  to see others before make this big decision. Sex is very important in a relationship, but honesty is right up there as well. Just don't get pressured into a marriage before you're very sure you truly love this guy. Marriage is a long commitment and not something to take lightly. If you want bells to ring try having sex with the ice cream man.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My boyfriend is great in bed, but doesn't have many social skills .My family  tolerates him at family functions, but I know they just shake their heads at me. I'm  twenty five and divorced and just enjoying myself with this guy. Should  I move on just to please my family?

Satisfied
 
Dear  Satisfied -
   Please yourself first, your family is not the one having sex with this guy. If he stays in the picture for some time, maybe teach him a few family skills. If your divorced at twenty five you certainly are not looking for a life long relationship at this time. Enjoy the day and move on when the sex and his social skills get to be a drag.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

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