more letters and email  -  5


yes even more selected emails

 

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My  husband is an alcoholic and when we go to his family for dinner they serve him alcohol. They know he should not drink but continue to do so after I have asked them not to. Their comment is wine is food. Once in his system he goes on a bender for days and misses work. He is a sweet man and loves his family, how can I get them to stop serving him.

Cynthia

 
Dear  Cynthia -  

   Tell them that you will not attend any more family dinners if they continue to serve alcohol  to their son. Explain after he drinks he lose work and he needs his job. Your husband has to take responsibility to learn to say no when served. He should be attending A.A.  to help him understand this is a disease just like most that can be cured or be in remission.  It really is his choice and your support to a point.

Auntie Jane

                                          

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   With Christmas just around the corner, my stomach has started to churn. We have so many friends and relatives it costs us a fortune that we cannot afford. Last year I said I was only buying for the immediate families kids. I stopped all friends kids and just bought a family gift for them instead. I was met by cool responses and now some are  asking if I am going to be cheap again this year. I put many hours in picking the right gift for all and feel I  spent what I could afford  on each gift. Any suggestions on what to say to these people.

Sahara from  Seattle

 
Dear  SFS -  

    Christmas has got so commercial all the meaning has gone. Plan a get together with family and friends and say no gifts as everyone can buy what they want or need. One of my best memories of Christmas was when the turkey never got delivered and my parents wanted to take us out for dinner. My siblings and I voted to stay home and have canned salmon. Good memories.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I came home to find my Mom in bed with my uncle. She said it was the only time this has ever happened and it won't happen again. I want to tell my dad and aunt as I feel they betrayed us all. My Mom starts crying every time we are together asking for forgiveness. I know my Dad wouldn't forgive them. Should I keep quiet? 

Daughter of a whore

  

 
Dear   Daughter -  

   You should never had to witness this but you did. There is a saying 'never judge till you have walked in that person's shoes.'  This is really not your business so don't get involved. Leave it to your parents and relatives to solve their problems. Accept what your mom told you and move on, one indiscretion does not make a whore.   

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am a twenty year old male. I came out to my family last month after many years of feeling scared to tell them about being gay. Everyone with the exception of my Dad  accepted me for who I am. He has not spoken to me since. I feel so bad as we had a good relationship before this. Any suggestions?

   Ralph

 
Dear   Ralph -  

    Ask your Mom to have a talk with him and explain that you are the same son regardless of your lifestyle. He needs to read some literature on the subject to really understand what your all about. Love should have no conditions and as a father he should understand this. It may take some time for him to realize your a loving son that wants to continue having a loving relationship with him. Don't give up on him to quickly as he would be the loser of a loving son. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    What is a good age to start having sex ? I am fourteen and have a girlfriend the same age. My buddies all say they have had some forum of sex for over a year. We will go by your advice as we cannot ask our parents. 

Sam and Kelly

Dear  Sam and Kelly -  

   Most guys boast about what their sex life is at that age. You have plenty of time to decide what you do in the future about sex. I would say enjoy the next year and just have fun getting to know the opposite sex. There is no rush and sex is much more enjoyable when two mature people really love each other and  become good friends first. I am sure you will both know when the time is right and make sure when that time comes to use precautions. And most of all  don't share with your buddies.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I have a dear old friend who is very rich. But never pulls her wallet out when we have lunch together. I end up paying as I am so embarrassed when the bill comes and she just sits there. Her comment is always the same, she will get the tip and then puts down loose change that never is more than a dollar. So I end up adding to that as well. How can I get her to pay her share?

Mildred

 
Dear  Mildred -  

You didn't say how old your friend is, when some reach an elderly age they can get very tight with money rich or poor. Set the rules before you go for lunch. Tell her it's "Dutch" treat and you will split the tip. Then you can leave an appropriate tip by adding to hers. If that fails find a new lunch companion.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My Dad had a heart attack a month ago, he is fine now but my Mom is constantly following him around the house. She never lets him out of her sight ,continually asking him how he feels. She is driving us all crazy including my Dad. How can we get her to cool it?

Graves family

 
Dear  GF-  

   This is very normal when a spouse has a heart attack, your Mom is feeling she might have lost her  husband that is very scary.  She will as time passes start feeling more secure about your Dad's health. Just give her time to adjust and help your Dad to practice a healthier lifestyle. That alone will help both of them. Be patient with them.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My boyfriend who I have been dating for six months finally had sex. He asked me if I had an orgasm? I didn't so I said no. Now he says its my fault, that all is other girlfriends always had them. I have limited sexual experience, but I do know how if feels to have an orgasm. When I told him this he stormed out and I have not heard from him since. Should I call him?

Tammy

 
Dear Tammy  -  

   He sounds very self centered and immature. Let him call you ,his manliness has been bruised. This was not your fault. A good lover always makes sure his girl is left satisfied. If he doesn't call then move on. I am sure you will find a more compatible boyfriend and lover.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My neighbor constantly walks in without knocking. She scared the hell out of me the other day when I was entertaining a male friend in my bedroom. I yelled at her to get the hell out and have not heard or seen her for a week. Should I apologize for yelling at her?

Cathy

 
Dear Cathy -  

   Why do you not lock your doors is my first question. Why would you apologize to her is my second ? She is the one that is in the wrong. If she is embarrassed, she should be and should be asking your forgiveness. Just leave her be till she knocks at your locked door. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   We have three grown children and four grandkids. My husband is getting tired of them landing on our doorstep every Sunday expecting to be invited for dinner. We love them all and enjoy having them over for dinner, but not every week. None of them ever think to invite us for a Sunday meal. I am afraid if I say anything they will stop coming altogether. Any help you can give us would be appreciated .

Tired out from cooking

 
Dear TOFC -  

   Why not plan some outings on Sundays for the next couple of weeks and not be available. After a couple of weeks invite them over for dinner. Then at the dinner table ask who is having the next dinner. One of them might suggest you all come over to their place. Just don't count on it you might have to end up being honest with them all.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   Thanksgiving is next month and my relatives travel from around the globe to celebrate with us. Luckily we have a big home and love to entertain. As our family grows we are at forty including children and every year there are  two aunts that ask to be put up at our house. My husband and I feel if we are putting on a lunch and dinner then they should get a hotel to stay. It is always the same people that ask every year. They have enough money to splurge on a hotel, they are just cheap. Both our parents are getting on and we always have them spend  the holiday in our home. How can I tell these two no without having a family feud each year? Any input would be grateful.

Cheap relatives

Dear  CR  -  

    You have time to write or phone them now and ask if they would like you to reserve a room for them at a  hotel close to your home. Just say you have a full house and with all the preparation it would not work for you to have them staying at the house. If they complain just say maybe they could make it next year and to let you know in lots of time so you can reserve them a hotel in time. I bet they come regardless.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My husband died six months ago. My family want me to sell my home and come live with them. They have five children under the age of twelve. I love them all but want to live on my own and not be a baby sitter while they work and travel. Am I being selfish?

Grandmother

 
Dear Gram -  

   Your not being selfish at all. Enjoy your grandchildren when they come to visit you in your own home. Very seldom three generation see eye to eye when living together. If its been only six months you are still grieving, so don't make any major decisions this soon.     

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I have a friend who lives alone and constantly talks and when I include her in gatherings at my home she won't give my other guest a chance to talk. I have tried to tell her to let others have their say to no avail.  She just says that is her and why should she change. Should I just not include her as my friends are getting tired of her incisive talking ?

   Can't get a word in

 
Dear  Cgawi -  

    There is nothing worse than people who don't know when to shut up. Living alone one gets very self centered. Stop inviting her to your gathering if she won't  listen to your advice. If she asks why she isn't invited then tell her straight out why.  Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.  Then she may get the hint and control her talking.  Just don't count on it.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   What makes people so ignorant? We have a few friends who just drop over uninvited. We have two small children who both take naps in the afternoon and  that is our quiet time together on the week-end. How can we get them to stop just dropping in without alienating them?

  Cathy

 
Dear   Cathy -  

   You can either not answer the door or be honest with them and tell them you would appreciate a phone call to see if its convenient for them to come for a visit. Then screen your calls.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My mother-in-law is driving me crazy. She can't keep her big mouth shut and is always interfering in our lives. My wife is afraid of hurting her feelings and she will stop babysitting for us for free, we both work. How can I stop her from interfering in my life?

So close to telling her off.

 

 

Dear   SCTTHO -  

   If  she is babysitting for free keep your mouth shut. She probably looks after her grandchildren better than someone else. Count yourself lucky. When she gets over bearing smile and walk away.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   Help please. My wife and I have only been married for less than a year. She only wants to have sex on the week-ends. She says I'm oversexed because through the week after we relax from work I start wanting to get romantic. She wants to watch TV. and then fall asleep. I have always tried to please her as much as myself. Any suggestions would sure be helpful.

Horny and not getting enough

 
Dear  HANGE -  

   Communication is very important in a relationship. Is her job stressful and tiring? You have to ask her if something is bothering her about your sexual relationship. Maybe she isn't getting everything she wants. When you say you want to get romantic are you doing the ground work to get her sexually aroused. Some women take longer than others. She should make an appointment with her doctor to see if all is fine with her health. For a young married couple three four times a week is not unreasonable if both agree. There are many books out there to help on arousal and good sex.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My husband and I are in our late fifties. He had a heart attack a year ago and has lost interest in sex. We always had a good sex life until his attack. His doctor has given him a good health report, and he will have to take medications forever. Do you think he has just lost interest in me or is scare of another heart attack? 

 To young to stop enjoying sex

 
Dear  TYTSES -  

   I totally agree with you that you should have a good sex life into your eighties. Go together to his doctor and find out if his medications are the problem or if it's in his head. If his health is good then you may have to seduce him  into getting turned on. At your age you should have a few tricks up your sleeve. Don't take no for an answer.

Auntie Jane


 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My Mom is driving me insane. We went shopping for school cloths and she wanted to pick every thing out for me. She keeps saying she has much more experience than me. Her taste are boring and she has no idea of the style of today. We ended up fighting and I came home with nothing. Please help me to get her to listen.

   A teenager 

 
Dear   AT -  

   As long as you're not trying to dress Goth or ridiculous then she should listen to your suggestions. But then take her opinions as well. She wants you to look presentable and she has your best interests at heart. Talk about what you would like before the shopping trip and look at a few teenage magazines. Try not to show attitude when she suggests something. Smiles can be a great help for getting your choice.      

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am a women of thirty-five, divorced for four years. I met a man last year on holidays and we travel back and forth as we live four hundred miles apart. We enjoy each other and the sex is great. I want to leave things the way they are, he wants me to move to his city and move in with him. I have a great job and surrounded by my friends here. His children live with their mother close to him. I don't want to lose him but feel it's too soon to commit. Am I crazy?

I think I love him

 
Dear ITILH -  

   You have a big decision to make, but if you only" think" you love him give it some more time. If he is the one he will wait for you. Ask yourself a few questions, will his kids accept you, will the ex cause any problems so close? Do you love him enough to leave the life you have now? Either way don't let him force the issue till your ready.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My girlfriend just told me she is sleeping with another friend of ours. Our friend is a great person and is a a wonderful mother and wife. I feel she is being betrayed and I feel so sad that after all these years as girlfriends she would do this. I don't want to see either of them in case I let something slip that I will regret. What would you do in this situation?

Girlfriend with honor

 
Dear  GWH -  

   Your friend that is being cheated on needs you as her friend at this time so keep in touch. Either way you're in a no win situation, you will lose one of your friends for sure. If the friend that is being cheated on finds out you knew she won't forgive you. If you tell on the other she will drop you. I would stay out of it, maybe it is a fling that will end quickly with no one getting hurt. If your married I wouldn't trust your friend that is doing the cheating though.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

    My husband is having an affair with a women from work, he is her boss. We have three children who love their father very much. I told him if he didn't fire her and end the affair he could leave. I am trying to keep this marriage together for the kids sake. Should I just kick him out and move on as I don't know if I can ever feel the same towards him? Or should I try for my kids sake?

Married to a cheating husband

 
Dear MTACH -  

    You didn't say if you love him or if he fired this women? Or if he has cheated before? He has a lot of building to do in this marriage to gain your trust again. The kids will be the ones to suffer as this will effect them through their lives. Either way if he stays and there is friction in the household that will also effect them. Some kids adjust faster than others and they have to know that this is not their fault at all. Maybe talking to someone as a couple would help. If you decide to stay with your husband "you" have to forgive and start again to learn to trust and not throw this up every time an argument arises.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I need advice right away. I cheated on my husband last week and having a problem whether to tell him as I feel so guilty. My girl friend and I were out drinking and I got really drunk. This handsome man came over to our table and started flirting and I went home with him . The sex was great, but now I feel so bad as my husband is the greatest guy anyone could have. Should I come clean and tell him it was a big mistake and ask for his forgiveness?   

Sorry and guilty

 
Dear  SAG -  

   How nice you want to clear your conscious and expect everything to be fine after you unload your indiscretion. What about the greatest guy your married to. Keep your mouth shut and if you want to keep your husband and not hurt him unnecessarily, put this behind you. Learn from it. Hopefully he won't find out and your lives will go on. I hope you had protected sex.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

What is wrong with men these days. I work in a bar and get hit on by married men every night. I am putting myself through law school so need my job. I am friendly and I get great tips, but don't flirt. How can I get these over sexed men to back off without losing out on my tips?

Hard Worker

 

Dear  HW -  

 Men drinking in bars will never change. All you can do is smile and serve them the booze and hope they go home before they make total fools of themselves. Your boss should keep you safe from any touching. Hold your revenge till you become a lawyer  then sock it to the husband whose wives are suing for divorce. You might even come across a few that were hitting on you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane

  Our neighbors drive us nuts every summer. They are so loud and every week-end they start cutting the lawn early Sunday morning. Every other neighbor cuts on Friday/Saturday. We have made comments every year to no avail. They have teenagers that could do it through the week. The music blares from Friday to Sunday outside so nobody can sit on their patio's and have a quiet  time.  All the neighbor's  are  ready to call the police or take some action on their own. I would rather see this settled without involving the police. Any suggestions?

 Resident of our  nosy neighborhood

 
Dear   ROONN -  

    I would get a couple of the men neighbors to go and talk to them nicely. Tell them you as neighbors you don't want to involve the police and could they please turn the music down so everyone can enjoy the summer.  Ask them  not  to cut the grass so early on Sunday as everyone wants to sleep in. If they won't listen to reason then involve the police, do nothing illegal or they can report you guys to  the police. Be prepared for more noise after your visit, they sound like very ignorant neighbors.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My wife caught me on the internet talking to a women. Now she thinks I am having an affair and wants to know every time that I am on my computer,  what I am doing. She is driving me nuts and I can't even surf any more. When I am at work I know she goes into my computer and checks out where I have been. How can I make her understand what I am doing is only fun and not serious. 

Jake

 
Dear Jake -  

   You really have not given me enough information on the subject. Are you in chat rooms talking to women or are you playing poker with a group? Or finding people that have common interest? If it's sexual then you have a problem. Has your wife reasons not to trust you?

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   Why is it that men can have affairs no strings attached, but a women can't without everyone talking about her behind her back. I am a women with an excellent job and have no interest in a relationship that takes up too much time. I would like to find a few different men to have dinner and spend the evening with and if I feel like having sex then so what? I am tired of men wanting to take the relationship further and find I am dropping them after a few dates. I have tried dating services to no avail. When men find out my salary they start calling me constantly. I want a man when I want him, not him wanting me as security. Is this too much to ask?

ExecutiveWoman

 
Dear  Exec -  

   I don't think it's too much to ask.  But first why even mention your salary to men you are only going to date a few times. Even if you find a man that fits into your lifestyle your salary is none of his business. Just make them work for you a bit first, dinner and good interesting conversation before sex. Maybe you are coming on too strong at the start? I wouldn't worry about people talking behind your back, that is gossip and don't let anyone take up that space in your head. I am sure there are men out there that would enjoy sex with no attachments. You just have not found them yet. Meanwhile maybe you are the one who is telling too much about yourself. You sound independent and confident about your place in the business world, so that is your reality, and you set the rules about how you play outside it, that may be your fantasy. Just don't expect reality from men. 

Auntie Jane

 
 
 
Dear Auntie Jane -

    My friend and I are having a great summer, but she will be going away to college in a month. I am so afraid she will find another best friend before I join her in a year. How can I keep her from forgetting me as we have been friends since grade school? 

Bethany

 
Dear  Bethany -  

   I am sure your friend will not forget you. Best friends share intimacies that are embedded for life even if one moves away. You can communicate on Skype between holidays and the year will go quickly. Maybe you can go visit her and check out the college for when you go there.  Just keep the communication going on between yourselves.  Be aware too, that college is way different than school, she will be busy with more studying. And be careful of jealousies. She will undoubtedly make new friends at college. Be supportive and happy for her.  Being apart is often wonderful for best friends. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   What is wrong with people?  I have an answering machine for business, but after telling my friends to keep it short they ramble on and use up my tape. Why do people say they have another call coming in when you are in the middle of a conversation with them. Makes me wonder if your not that important to them.     

  Second Stringer

 
Dear  2nd -  

    Two good points. Both bother me as well. Redo your answering message to say,  "Please leave a SHORT message at the tone ..."  As for them saying they have another call coming in, I don't stay on hold and if I am involved in something when they call back, I just don't answer.  How important was it?

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I come from a large family and so does my husband. If we accepted every invitation to family gatherings, we would never have time to ourselves. We get static from both sides if we decline invites. We don't have children and giving up our week-ends to attend children's birthday parties isn't how we want to spend our time. How can we deal with them all?

  Tired of screaming kids 

 
Dear TOSK  -  

   Send a gift through the mail. Kids love to receive mail. Add a comment in their card that you can't make it, and hope they have a happy day. You don't have to make up any excuse  to your families. You may feel differently if and when you have kids. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   Am I crazy ? My Mother-in-law comes into our home and starts telling me how I should raise my kids and  tells me that I don't give my husband the attention that he should have.  I work full time,  he is in the last year of Med school. My mom looks after our two children ages 3 and 1.  I have supported him through his education with no help. She has the nerve to question me about our finances and how my Mom looks after our kids. She has never contributed anything to our lives except trouble and strife. Should I just tell her to butt out?

Sandy 

 
Dear  Sandy -  

   By the sounds of it your Mother-in-law will not change. This problem has been going on for centuries  between families. Ignore her when she questions you about your family and make it clear its not up for discussion how you spend your money or raise your kids. Your husband should be the one to tell his mother to stop interfering in your family business. Tell him to step up and be a man and to cut the apron strings with his mother. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   How do I get my boyfriend to propose to me after going with him for five years? We have lived together for two and he seems to just be happy living together and not taking the next step. I am  twenty-seven he is five years older than me. I want a family and feel that we should be starting one soon. He keeps saying everything in our lives is great and wants to just keep it this way. Am I wasting my time with him?  

   Beth in Toronto

 
Dear  BIT  -  

    Your boyfriend doesn't seem to want to make the big commitment of marriage. If  you have been living together for two years that is plenty of time to know if you are suited to each other. I would suggest you move out and give him a couple of months to see if he loves you enough to commit.  You might find that he isn't the one after those few months away from each other. You still have lots of time to start a family maybe just not with this guy. If he truly loves you he would want to spend the rest of his life married to you.  Get back into circulation, as my mother-in-law always said men are like busses there is always another one that come along.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   This will be the first year my husband and I have been separated. I have always had the Christmas dinner, but this year my daughter is having the whole family over. That means in-laws from both sides of the family. Should I still buy gifts for my ex's parents and him too?   

Tanya

 

 

Dear  Tanya -  

   I would get them something, it does not have to be expensive just thoughtful. Good for you and your ex to be able to still enjoy the holidays with your family.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I just got a list  from my daughter-in-law on what to buy my grandkids for Christmas. She does this every year and I'm still pissed off from last year list. I have told her I will buy what I want for them. Her comment was then they always take the gifts back and its a hassle for her. I feel like not getting any gifts for them this year. Should I?

Mad Granny

Dear   MG  -  

   I love to get a list from my daughter and always ask for one. Why would you not want your grandkids to get something that they have asked for within reason. Get in the Christmas spirit Grandma and play nice. Ho Ho!

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I think my husband is having an affair with our babysitter. She is only fourteen and comes over even when she is not babysitting for our kids. He is constantly flirting with her and she seems to enjoy it.  I have told him to stop and he just laughs and says I am crazy. He always is the one to drive her home and she only lives a block away. He usually is gone over an hour and says he felt like a drive after dropping her off.  I don't want to end our marriage over this, what should I do?

Janice

 
Dear  Janice  -  

     You should have proof before you blow the whistle. Tell your husband he could be charged for fooling around with an underage girl and could end up in jail with a record. Then tell the girl not to come around and that she won't be babysitting for your family again. If you have proof you must go to her parents and the police about this. You don't know how many other girls your husband has gone after. You say you don't want to end your marriage over this. You need to take a step back and realize that your husband is in deep trouble and he must think you are  a very stupid person to believe his stories. You both need help.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

      I don't know how much to spend on my boyfriend  for Christmas, we have been going together for three months. ant to look cheap but don't want to go over board either. What would be an appropriate gift and price to spend on him?

Katie

 
Dear  Katie  -  

   Why not suggest to him a price limit as you both have only been together for three months. He is probably thinking the same and it would be a relief for him to not be second guessing what to spend on you too. Try to think of something original and unique as the price should really not enter into this. Its the though that really counts.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am having big problems with my boyfriend of six months. He said he is going to break up with me if I don't perform oral sex on him. I tried it once and didn't enjoy it one bit. He said he could never marry a girl that wouldn't give him pleasure like this at least twice a week. What should I do?

Kelly

Dear  Kelly   -  

    Dump him, sex is for two people to get pleasure if only one is then you need to move on. Oral sex is not for everyone. Maybe your just not with the right partner. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am not close to my family and enjoy just spending Christmas with my husband and kids.  My siblings say I am selfish and that all our family should be together. My stepfather sexually abused me when I was very young and don't want him near my daughters. They all live about one hundred miles from us and we would have to stay at my Mom's house. When I told her what her husband had done she never believed me at the time. My brothers all get along with him and say I should just put this behind me and enjoy the family at Christmas. I never told my husband about this so he is unaware of why I hate seeing this man. When I told them I would not be there for the holidays none of them will talk to me now. My husband thinks we should make the effort to go. What should I do?

Wendy

 
Dear  Wendy  -  

    I would tell your husband the reason why you have no interest in putting your daughters at risk. I am sure he will agree and just want the same as you. If your brothers have girls then make sure they know the reason you will not be there.  I am sure your Mom already knows but can not face up to the truth, her loss.

  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am having an affair with a fellow from work. I am married he is not. He is five years younger than me and says he loves me and wants me to leave my husband. We do not have any children and my husband doesn't want any. I didn't think I did but now have changed my mind about having a family. I have told my husband about this and he said discussion is closed as we had agreed before we got married not to have any. My lover wants a family, do you think five years is too much difference in our age?

Cindy

 
Dear  Cindy  -  

   You did not say if you love either one of these men. You have to decide if you want a divorce so you can have a family with your lover or someone else. Age is not the problem, wanting a baby is after you had decided not to have any. You changed the rules on your husband, so you need to be honest with him and tell him your feelings. If he knows that you are thinking of leaving him, so you can have a family he might change his mind. If not then spend time with your lover before you start a family. Affairs always start out great until you live with the person and then reality sets in.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My sister borrowed my good sweater and left it at a party. Now it has gone missing and I think she should replace it with a new one. She says she doesn't have any money to do so. Am I wrong in expecting her to buy me a new one?

Constance

 
Dear  Constance  -  

   No your not, if she chooses not to get you a new sweater tell her your cloths are off limits. She  will never learn to appreciate your things if you let her get away with this and will only cause you more trouble in the future.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   The holidays are approaching and every year our family has the same problems. Someone is not talking to each other and refuses to join in the family dinner. Our parents are in their eighties and would love to see all their kids together before they go. How can I get this across to these stubborn relatives? 

Beverly

 
Dear  Beverly -  

   Tell them it is only one day they have to get through and not to be so selfish. I am sure your parents spent many years making all of your Christmas's special, now is the time to make their last few the same. They need to suck it up and leave their problems at the door. A few hours out of the day should not be too much to ask to make your parents happy.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
     I gave up my first baby when I was fifteen. My parents never gave me a choice to keep her they said I had to give her up for adoption. I am happily married now with three healthy children. I feel blessed but I never told my husband about my baby that I gave up. She would be twenty five now and I would love to see her and tell her what happened. I have thought of her often through the years, especially on her birthday. I am afraid my husband would be hurt and mad that I have kept this secret from him all these years. But have a void in my heart for her. Help with any ideas .

Tamara

 
Dear  Tamara  -  

     I think you should take your husband somewhere without the kids and tell him as soon as possible. I am sure if you explain the circumstances he will forgive you for not telling him. It might take a while for his trust to return. Then get on to the adoption agency and get your name listed so your daughter can reach you if she chooses. If only for health and for her to know about the "whys". Most adopted kids are curious and I think everyone who has adopted a child out should be available for the questions that they want to know about. This doesn't mean the two of you will be mother and daughter or have a great relationship but it should start with you being up front with all your family. Once your on the list let it be her who makes the choice.     

  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I just found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for the last few months. He denied  it and said that the girl is lying and he was never in her company. Friends of mine have seen him with this girl when he told me he was with his family or out with his guy friends. Should I just dump him without confronting him with what I know. We were suppose to be getting engaged at Christmas.

Sad and hurt

 
Dear  Sah -  

   Better to find out he lies and cheats before you get married and have kids. You don't have to explain anything to this guy, he will know why you have dropped him. When a couple plan to get engaged that should mean total commitment to each other. Move on and find someone who will love and commit to you alone. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have a male friend whose company I enjoy. The trouble is he phones me daily to chat and tries to make plans for the following day or week-end. I like time to myself and always feel pressured by him constantly wanting to make plans. How can I get him to stop as I feel I'm being harassed. I don't want to lose him as a friend as we enjoy many of the same things. 

Carolyn

 
Dear  Carolyn -  

    Start by not taking everyone of his calls. When he asks why tell him you have been busy with work and other commitments.  Say you will give him a call with things quiet down. Or you could be honest and say you enjoy his company but not 24/7.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am in my late forties ,have been divorced for five years. I find it very hard to meet men that have not got a long history plus baggage. I tried the dating service and found most lie about pretty much everything. I have my own condo and a very good job. Any help with this would  be appreciated.

Need someone to share my life with

 
Dear   NSTSMLW-  

   Most men in their late forties and fifties have some sort of baggage to bring into a relationship. You have to decide if your willing to accept a few quirks as most men and women have some at any age. Don't try too hard just go places that interest you and you might just happen on someone that has the same interests. Don't be in too much of a hurry and don't settle just to have a man in your life.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am having an affair with a neighbor, she and my wife are friends so we see a fair amount of each other. We both have small children so don't plan to separate from our partners. I tried to say we should cool it before we are caught, she won't listen and wants to continue our relationship. The sex is great and I hesitate to call it off. I love my wife and wouldn't want to lose her or my kids.

Cheating husband

 
Dear   CH -  

   Is the sex good enough to lose your family? As that could happen when you get caught and cheaters usually do eventually. Quit while your ahead and put more effort into your sex life with your wife. You may be surprised.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   What age should you stop buying presents for your nieces and nephews at Christmas? I have ten of them and they are all over the age of seventeen and all have part-time jobs. I am on a pension and find it harder every year to find a suitable gift. Last year I sent them all a cheque and only three sent me a thank-you note. Should I continue getting them gifts.

Aunt Meg

 
Dear   Aunt Meg -  

   I think you have done very well to have continued sending presents to them for this long. They are old enough to buy what they want at this age and it sounds like only three  appreciated the thought. I would be tempted to only send the three who sent a note of appreciation, but it would probably cause a riff in the family. Just send them all a card wishing them a happy season.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My Mom and Dad divorced three year ago, they have not spoken since it became final. I live with my Dad as he stayed in the house and it was close to my school. I graduate this year and now my Mom wants me to come live with her and her new husband who has two kids that live with them. I love and miss my Mom, but don't really get along with her husband or kids. I feel guilty and just don't know what to tell her.

Greg

Dear  Greg  -  

   Tell her the truth! Then try and spend time with her alone. Meet for dinner or just a walk so she feels she is part of your life. If your invited to a family dinner with her family make an effort to go and be pleasant to her other family. Look at it as just an evening to get through and it will make your Mom happy. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

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