more letters and email  -  6


yes still more selected emails

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I really screwed up! My best friend is six months pregnant and her husband came on to me at a party. We all had a few drinks and I led him on, now he is calling me to meet him. I told him not to phone as I was not interested in him. Now he has threaten me if I don't meet him he will tell his wife .Help as I sure need some good advice. 

Sharon

Dear  Sharon  -  

   Tell the jerk you have his phone call on tape. And if he wants to play games you can play just as dirty. He has more to lose than you. Stay away from drinking if you can not control your behavior.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am happily married to a great guy. He travels through the week, so we only have the week-ends to be together. His mother phones me daily to see what I'm doing and drops in most afternoons to see who is at the house. I know she thinks that I'm entertaining a man. She is so obvious about it I have to laugh. She has started to come over on the week-ends, early in the morning when we are still in bed. I finally told my husband about her coming over and her phone calls daily. He said just don't answer the phone or door when he is away.  I don't like to do this, then I feel like a prisoner in my home. Should  he talk to her or should I? 

Frustrated

Dear  Frustrated   - 

    Whoever talks to her she will be mad at, so maybe if you do it you will get some peace from her for awhile. She has no business coming over uninvited, she needs to know this. She sounds like a  nosey women with no friends or hobbies to keep her occupied. Tell her when you feel like company you will call  and invite her over. Also take your husbands advice let her leave a message on the phone and start going out around the time she arrives. Break her habits. If she continues to arrive on the week-ends then it's up to your husband to tell her.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
  I have been divorced for a year. My friends want to set me up with some of their co-workers. I am still in love with my ex, but he is planning to get married this fall. I am just not ready to date and they all say to get on with my life. He is a great father to our three year old son and comes over often to see him. I just keep hoping he will come back to me. Am I just dreaming?

Still love my man

Dear  SLMM  - 

   He won't be your man after this fall.  It is a good thing to stay friends with you're ex for your sons sake. But eventually you must move on with your life. If he is planning a wedding with someone else then he is not in love with you. So yes, you are dreaming my dear. Take your friends advice and start to socialize and get out  and enjoy the world around you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   I had an abortion when I was sixteen and was told that I would never get pregnant. I am engaged to a wonderful guy and he has said many times that he wants a big family. Should I tell him that I can never have children. I am so scared that I will lose him if I am truthful. Should I just keep quiet? 

Rachel

Dear  Rachel  - 

   This is no way to start a marriage. Have you been to a doctor about your situation? Go and be sure that you cannot get pregnant first. Then you have to be honest with your man. There is so many ways of having a family these days, talk it over with him and if he loves you, you can work things through together.  

Auntie Jane

 
 

  
 
 
 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am so pissed off with four of my girlfriends. They planned a weeks holiday and did not include me. When I asked one of them, she just said they didn't think I would be interested and they were sharing two double beds and four was the limit. Another friend would have come along and we could have shared. When I suggested this to them they got all quiet and embarrassed and said it was too late to change their plans. Should I just go ahead and make reservations and surprise them when we arrive?

Kelly

Dear  Kelly   -  

   If they had wanted you on their trip they would have included you. Obviously they didn't  for a reason. You might be the one that's surprise if you show up uninvited. Find some new friends who enjoy your company and move on.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My girlfriend lies constantly to me and others. When I catch her in one, she just laughs it off. I want to marry this girl and wonder if I can ever trust her. How can I make her understand to stop lying to me?

Dave

Dear  Dave  -  

   Tell her to go see a doctor, compulsive lying is a disease. She needs help before she starts believing her own lies.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I have a friend who is always asking me advice on her life. It seems if I went back five years it would be the same problem just with different people. I spend time thinking on how she can solve her problems, but she never listens. What should I say to her?

Sandra

Dear   Sandra  - 

   Your not telling her what she wants to hear. People ask opinions, if it doesn't fit into what they want to hear they will just ignore it. Friends are suppose to be honest with each other. Tell her what you told me.

 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
 My Dad is so strict with my sister and I, she is seventeen and I am fifteen. He will not allow us to date only if we are going somewhere in a group. My sister lies about where she is going and who with. I am scared he will find out and then he will ground us both. I think he is like this as he got my Mom pregnant and they had to get married. How can we get him to change his mind.

Vicky and Shawna

 

Dear  V@S -  

   He has to start trusting you girls, just because he got into trouble with your Mom. Explain that he should not judge you because what happened to him. Talk to your Mom and help her get through to your Dad about dating. Seventeen years olds should have the freedom of going out on a date with a boy. Fifteen you should be having fun in a mixed group. Lots of time to date on your own. Tell your sister to bring home her date and introduce him to the family, so your Dad feels comfortable after meeting these fellows.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have just found out that I'm pregnant for the fourth time. My husband has been unemployed for six months and I am the only breadwinner. He does a great job of looking after the kids, but a lousy housekeeper. I am exhausted after a full day at work, then have to come home to a messy house and cook dinner. I am thinking of having an abortion, but he is Catholic and would never agree to this. Should I go ahead without his permission? I don't know how we could survive without me working.

Constance

Dear  Constance -  

   I would sit him down and show him this letter. It seems to me he should be out looking for work so all the pressure is not all you're problem. Even if he goes to work when you get home. Three children is a handful and very expensive to raise. Or is he happy being a stay at home Dad?  If he is then he should be doing the cooking and housework I would not bring another child into the world in this situation, but that is your choice as it is your body.    

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My  close girlfriend that I have had since high came to me and told me my husband has been hitting on her. She told me he has been phoning her at work and asking her to meet him for drinks and would love to take her away for a week-end. She saved the message from her phone so I know she is telling me the truth. We have only been married for a year and this is the second time I have found out about him playing around on me. The first time I caught him he begged to be forgiven and said I was the only one he loved. How can I ever trust this man and start a family with him?

Melissa

Dear  Melissa  -  

    What are you waiting for three strikes and he's out . Twice in a year, he doesn't sound like he will be a good family man or husband. Leave before you find yourself with a couple of kids to raise on your own.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   I just found out that I am pregnant with my sisters husband. Now none of my family will talk to me. I feel like a lost soul. How can I get my family back as I miss them so much? The blame has landed solely on me. Should I have this baby?

Tina

Dear  Tina  -  

  Any one who would sleep with her sisters husband has no soul. If you decide to keep this baby, I would advise you to move far away from your family. Every time your sister see's or hear of the baby it will hurt her all over again. Sounds like her husband and you deserve each other.

Auntie Jane

 

 
 
 
 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My mother-in-law is driving me crazy. She comes over daily to our house and interferes with my wife's social life. My wife can never make plans with her girlfriends as  she is too scared to hurt her mother's feelings.  She constantly complains  to my wife that I don't do anything around the house, so it's an ongoing battle with her. She is still there when I come home from work and then starts on me. She even phones on my day off and wakes us up. My wife knows I am writing and we wait for your comments.

Ralph

 

Dear Ralph  -  

   Your wife needs to get a backbone and tell her mom that she can't come over daily and complain about you. She should make plans with friends and tell her mom she won't be home.  Its time for your wife to cut the apron strings.  Unplug your phone and if you haven't got call display get it. It's none of her business what you do around the house that is between you and your wife.

Auntie Jane

 
 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am married to a great man, have two children and he wants a third. Everything in our relationship is good except our sex life. He travels every two weeks on business, I am starting to wonder if he has a girlfriend while he travels. He always comes home happy from his trips ,but never seems to want sex except when he wants to make a baby.  Should I confront him and tell him my feelings., or continue to stay quiet and keep the peace?

Natasha

Dear  Natasha  -  

    Keep the peace, doesn't sound like your getting your "piece" of much action. Communication and trust is a must in any relationship. He should see a doctor as his condition could be a medical one. If not I wouldn't be bringing another child into a relationship that needs work. When he arrives home the next time plan to have a romantic dinner just the two of you and see how he reacts. Then you need to have a heart to heart if that fails.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   We were invited to a wedding for a girl that we hardly know and have not seen her for over five years. I sent a note saying we would not be attending. Then comes a phone call asking me to attend a shower for her, the caller said she understood we couldn't make the wedding. Then preceded  to say it would be fine to bring the wedding gift to her shower. I don't plan on going to the shower either. I am lost for words.

Brandy

Dear  Brandy -  

   Better to just ignore the phone call. Not worth a reply to someone so brazen. If you choose, send them a wedding card wishing them well. Sounds like they haven't many real friends, not your problem.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I am graduating from college in June. Some of my friends are heading to Europe to travel this summer. My parents don't want me to go. I have always worked part-time so I have the money without their help. How can I make them change their minds?  I have had top marks through high school and college and want to travel some before settling down to a real job.

Cindy

 

 

Dear Cindy -  

   I think it would be a great experience for you and your friends. Let your parents know that you will all be careful and watch out for each other. Make sure they know you will keep them updated on where you are travelling while your away. Travelling anywhere you have to be aware of your surroundings just like in your own city. Stay in a group and you should be just fine. All cities have seedy areas just don't go near them. Maybe your parents are just not ready for you to become independent, that is hard for some parents to do. You sound like a mature person, working and not asking for their help. Suggest that they send you away with a phone card to keep in touch and their blessings.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   We had a lovely Mothers Day dinner at my daughters home on Sunday. She went to a lot of trouble and had her husbands folks along with her two sisters. We brought two expensive bottles of wine for the gathering and the other guest did too. My son-in-law make his own wine and has been told we don't drink cheap wine especially home made wine from a wine depot. He puts it into a decanter and thinks no one will notice. My husband gets ill and gets a headache if he even has one glass.  How can I get it across to him to serve the wine that people spend time picking out and bring to his home. Six bottles disappeared never to be served. This spoiled the entire evening for all.

Mother who has a cheap son-in-law

 

 

Dear  MWHACSIL  -  

   Have you ever thought he may take it back to the liquor store for a refund? Next time take one bottle and open it in front of him and tell him you want it to breath. Then only drink from that bottle, he will get the message. If not you have enjoyed your daughters hospitality and saved yourselves from cheap rot gut wine.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My Dad passed away three months ago and my Mom says she has nothing to live for now. They had been married for forty years. I know she is grieving but I'm afraid she will do something to herself. Should I move back home with my daughter, I am a single Mom and she could look after her granddaughter while I worked. My boyfriend doesn't think this is a good idea as she really doesn't like him very much. I would never forgive myself if she committed suicide.

Katrina

 
Dear Katrina  -  

   Your Mom is in the first stages of grieving after only three months. She needs to see someone in the medical field to talk to. Ask her doctor to put her in touch with a group in her area who are going through the same thing. You can be supportive without moving in with her, spending time with her and her grandchild. She has to eventually learn to live on her own and get out and meet her friends. If she is not fond of your boyfriend that will only cause more friction in her life and yours at this time.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am forty years old have a great job, travel on my six weeks holiday to different places around the world have many good friends and family. I am constantly asked why I have never gotten married from my friends who some are on their second time around. I am happy with my life. I have male friends who I go out for dinner and concerts with and enjoy them , but not on a continual basis 24/7.  What can I say when they want to know why I don't get married and settle down ?

Anne

 

 

Dear  Anne -  

   Why would you get married when you have everything in your life going so well. Maybe they are a bit jealous of your freedom and lifestyle. Marriage is not for everyone and you sound like you have everything going for you. Why would you or your friends want to change that? Just tell them you love your life just the way it is, thank you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
    I work  in a retail store, a co-worker has been taking products without paying for them. She is a single Mom and I know she has a hard time raising her two boys alone. I don't know what to do as I told her she will get caught and lose her job. She just laughed and says the company can afford it.  The boss is a nasty man and I'm sure she will be prosecuted when caught. I don't want to see her in jail, any help or suggestions on what I should do?

Friend

 
Dear Friend  -  

     Sit her down and tell her if she doesn't stop you will have to report her stealing. This reflects on all the other employees. Statistic show there is more internal thief in retail than external. She will get caught eventually and then will have a hard time being bonded to work.  Ask her how she will support her family then. Stealing can be a sickness, so maybe she should talk to a professional about her problem. If she needs to steal to support her family then there are agencies to help supplement her income. Help her look for alternatives for her and her family to survive.

Auntie Jane

 
 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I am two months pregnant and don't know who the father is. I had been in a relationship with a guy for three years and we broke up and then got back together. I had a one night stand with a guy I used to see years ago. Should I tell them both that they could be the father and take a chance of losing them both? Or have an abortion to end this drama?  

Scared to raise a kid on my own

 

 

Dear STRAKOMO -  

   You don't say how old you are and that could make a difference on my answer. I will assume if you have been in a relationship for three years you may be in your twenties or early thirties. Raising a child on your own is a hard go in this day and age assuming that either of your partners would not step up to be father to this baby. DNA testing would solve your problem if you chose to keep the child and need to use that information for support in the future. Adoption is another alternative. Honesty with these potential fathers may be the only way to see what they are both made of and how they really feel about you. Perhaps you are now secure with your three year guy?  You might even ask yourself if your dilemma would be solved if you simply forgot the one night stand? You need to consider your future very carefully.

Auntie Jane

 
 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
 
   I have been dating this guy for four months and we get along great. My problem is he still see's his old girlfriend and goes to her parents house for dinner a couple of times a month. I think he should not see her or her family. I have told him it bothers and upsets me, but he continues to go. Should I tell him if he continues to see them then I will not be available to him for sex. 

Lisa

 
Dear  Lisa -  

   He obviously does not want to cut off his old girlfriend or her family for reasons he is not telling you about. Sounds like he still is interested in her, and also enjoys her family. Four months into a relationship isn't very long for you to be telling him what he can or cannot be doing. As for withholding sex that is up to you, but don't think that will stop him from seeing his ex if he still has feelings for her.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I work at a very stressful job and every few months I take a long week-end away from my husband. I usually go to resort and look forward to being pampered and lay in the sun and relax. I met a very nice man the last time and have been communicating via e-mail. He has asked me to meet him next month so we can get to know each other and relax together. He is married, has kids and travels for business so it's no strings attached. We did not have sex, but I'm sure if I meet him it will happen.  I love my husband and never cheated on him, but this man I can't get off my mind. I would love to hear you're opinion.

Hungry for some excitement

 

 

Dear  HFSE -  

    If your waiting for me to give you the go ahead it isn't going to happen. You sound like a women that has everything going for her, good job to be able to afford to take time off away from responsibilities at work and at home. A husband that goes along with you and probably trusts you. Just because your job is stressful, that doesn't make having an affair with a married man with kids acceptable. You say your hungry for excitement, try having some with the man you say you love. I am sure you have thought about what would happen if you are caught and end up divorced. Will this man leave his wife and kids to keep you excited. I hope a weekend will be worth it for you if you decide to meet him.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I married into a wealthy family, I came from a hard working background. All my family have worked for everything that they have achieved. It was hard for my parents raising five kids and putting them  all through University. My Mom always made sure we were all cared for and had the right cloths to go to school. My Dad sometimes worked two jobs so that they could do this for us. All my siblings have decided to send them on a trip to Europe for two months paying all expenses. My mother-in-law (who is a bitch) has told my husband that she doesn't think he should have to pay for a vacation for my parents. I don't work as we have two small children and I am a stay at home Mom. So now there is friction with his family. I feel we should put in as much money as my siblings, as we can afford it more than any of them. Am I wrong ?

Lizzy

 
Dear Lizzy -  

   First you do work raising you and your husbands children, clean, cook, and chauffeuring the kids around. Second it's none of your mother-in-laws business what you and hubby do with your money, unless they are supporting you. If they are not then tell her to butt out and mind her own money and business. I think it is lovely that you and your sibling want to do this for your parents, sounds like they really deserve it. Hope your husband is on the same page with you. Without your parents there would be no you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    My husband and I retired two years ago and moved to a small island. Now as summer is approaching the phone calls have started from family and friends wanting to know when they can come spend some time with us. Last year it was non stop from June to September, some invited some just arriving without any notice. Living on an island it is hard to plan food ahead as we have to go by boat for supplies. We have a garden for our veggies, but the liquor bill was outrageous . Some brought  a few things but mostly it was us supplying everything on a daily basis. We have a good pension, but feel we are getting taken advantage of . Any suggestions on what to say to them all.

 

Mary and Bill

 
Dear  Mary and Bill -  

   Why should you  be the ones to give all these spongers a free holiday?  First I would write an e-mail to all the ones who just stopped in with no invite and tell them you are booked solid this summer, sorry that you won't be available for them. Then the ones that you would like to invite if they phone, tell them if they plan to come over for a couple of days to stop at the grocery and liquor store before arriving as it has just gotten too expensive and hard to supply everyone that visits. If they don't like that then you haven't lost any good friends. Anyone who would come without food and drink are free loaders and not worth worrying about.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have been married for one year and my husband still goes over to have dinner with his parents twice a week without me. He says they miss him so much and just want to have time alone with him. My parents have us over with all the family and their kids. He seems to enjoy them all but never includes me with his family. I have tried to be nice to his parents but neither of them seem to  want to include me when they entertain. I have invited them to our place but they seem to always have plans and don't come. What should I do?

Daughter -in-law that doesn't seem to fit in.

 
Dear  DILTDSTFI-  

   Your husband needs to cut the apron strings. I have never advocated cutting off sex, but in this case I do. Tell your little boy if he continues to go for dinner without you he can move his bed on to the chesterfield till you are included with his family or he can move back to his mommies house. He sounds immature and needs to grow up and his family needs some lessons in etiquette. Don't let him or family get away with this if you plan on staying with this jerk and having a family with him.

Auntie Jane

 

 


 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   One of my girlfriends is gay, my husband doesn't like when I go out with her. She is a very nice person and we have so much in common. We laugh and enjoy each others company very much. How can I get my husband to stop feeling this way?

Cinnie

 
Dear  Cinnie-  

   Make it clear to him you will not stop seeing someone whose company you enjoy. If he is afraid of  you becoming gay tell him to do some reading on the subject. He sounds very immature to me and maybe afraid of his own sexuality. If your friend had a bad cold then you may not go out  with her in case you caught it. Otherwise your husband should get into the twentieth century.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have been married for two years and never had an organism. I love my husband very much and never told him that I am not sexually satisfied with his love making. I have gone to my doctor and he found nothing wrong with me health wise. We are starting to talk about having a family in the next few years and I was wondering after I have kids will our sex live improve?

 Unsatisfied and wanting more

 

 

Dear  UAWM -  

   I would start by going to a sex shop and getting yourself a vibrator and start using it first without your husband around. Start with a bubble bath, candles to relax, then after your bath start using the vibrator slowly and relax all your muscles in your body. Bringing yourself to a climax, doing this for a few weeks then introduce the vibrator into your lovemaking with your husband. Some men might feel threaten at first, but keep using it and when he see's how much more you are enjoying yourself sexually he will start trying  harder to satisfy you. It takes some women longer to have orgasms but well worth practicing till you learn. As for waiting to have kids, you will have less time to experiment so start now.

 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
  My husband had a heart attack two months ago, now he has started to forget important  things like having a bath and changing his cloths daily. He gets angry with me when I tell him. I am scared to let him drive the car as he got lost the other day just going for milk and bread. Should I hide his car keys?  I am at my wits end as he is angry all the time.

Married for sixty years

 
Dear  MFSY -  

   You need to go to his doctor right away and tell him what is going on. He will assess him, and give you the advice and help that you need. This could be from his heart attack or the start of dementia. Don't delay as this is very serious for you and him.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am fourteen years old my parents both work so I am alone after school. I have tried to make friends at school, but nobody seems to want to be my friend. I am so lonely and wish I was dead. How can I make people like me?

Shari

 
Dear Shari -  

   Nobody should want to be dead my dear. First talk to your Mom and tell her how you feel. Go to the school counselor and ask her what you can do to join groups that are in your school, music, band, art projects something that you find interesting. Sports is a good thing to get involved in, even if you just want to keep score for a team. Get your Mom to go with you to a Dr. and see if you should talk to someone about your feelings. Smiling and being friendly is the first step to finding a friend. Maybe you have to be a bit more outgoing with the kids around you, try to get involved with what is going on at school, and after school. At fourteen you should be happy and enjoying every day.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My sister came for a visit and I knew right away she was on drugs. I have two young children and work. She lost her job and now wants to babysit my kids while I work. I told her until she cleaned up the drug habit I would not trust her with my children. She stormed out and I have not heard from her since. She is living with my parents who are not aware of her habit.  They can't understand why I won't help her till she gets on her feet. Should I tell them?

Terry

 
Dear Terry-  

   If you don't tell your parents all your doing is being an enabler and so are your parents. She needs help from a professional as soon as possible. Tell your sister you will help her if she goes into treatment. Make sure your parents understand this too.  She will never get clean if you all brush her problem under the rug. Drug addicts can be very manipulative, so don't fall for any of her stories.

Auntie Jane

 


 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I don't know what to do, my Mom passed away and she has always said she didn't want a funeral. Now all her friends are putting pressure on me to have one. I feel I would be going against her wishes if I arrange one for her. My brothers say we should abide by her wishes.  Any  quick ideas?

Daughter who wants to do the right thing

 

 

Dear DWWTDTRT -  

   I would agree with your brothers about your Mom's wishes. You could  have a small gathering at your house for a few of her close friends if you wanted to. Funerals are really for the ones left behind to talk about the person who has gone.  I always say it's how you treat people when they are alive, that's what is important.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I came home from work and found my husband in bed with my best friend. They said this was the first time and they were so sorry. I feel betrayed by both of them and told my husband to leave. Now my girlfriend keeps phoning wanting to talk as she wants to be my friend still. They both have said how sorry they are and it would never happen again. I just feel I have lost my husband and my best friend and don't know what to think or do. Should I give them a second chance?

Michele

 
Dear Michele  -  

   Second chance, that is entirely up to you. Best friend not! A friend does not screw her friends husband. They got caught maybe it was the first time but I would question that. You have to be the one to decide if you can trust your husband again and make a life with him. I would take some time on your own and only go back if you feel that you can. A marriage is built on trust and he has lost that from you at this point. I would find a new friend and dump the one that thought so little of you to sleep with your husband.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My husband and I have been married for eight years. He has suggested that we take separate vacations this year. He wants to go with his buddies to Mexico and suggests that I go visit my parents in Florida. We have a fairly good marriage, but he has cheated on me before. I think we should go together to Mexico, he says he is going with his friends and I am not invited. What choice do I have?  

Mandy

 
Dear Mandy -  

    Doesn't sound to me like you have much choice, but I wouldn't be going to Florida to visit parents. Plan a trip with some girlfriends to go away somewhere exotic . When your husband realizes you can play that game too, he just might change his plans. The truth is it shouldn't be a game. I would say if he cheated on you once it could happen again. This marriage sound like it is in trouble and you both should start communicating with each other.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I think you were too soft on Terry on how he treated his Dad. He should feel real bad and should not be given a free pass just because he wants sympathy for feeling depressed. That is what's wrong with our society these days as kids don't care about their parents feeling or how they are doing daily, weekly or monthly. Maybe that is why so many couples decide not to have kids, because they spend the better part of their young lives raising these selfish people and what do they get in return. NOT A HELL OF A LOT.

If I had it to do over again I wouldn't bother

 

 

Dear IIHITDOAIWB  

  Wow, You can't put all kids into that category. I thought maybe a few out there would maybe learn from Terry's letter. But I do feel he needs to see someone about his depression after a year of feeling this way. I think if you don't expect anything from your kids then what you receive is a good thing.  Learn to make a life of your own and if you see or hear from them good if not move on.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

  My girlfriends and I were out for the night and my boyfriend didn't know where we would be.  I caught him in a bar with a girl from school, who was a tramp then. He had his arm around her and was hitting on her when I walked in. He swears he was just catching up on old classmates. I would never let a guy act like that to me and told him so. He is saying I am making a big deal about nothing. I think he would have taken it further if I had not arrived there. How can I trust him ?

Katra

 

 

Dear Katra   

   Trust is build on how someone treats you. He may have taken it further if he had the chance, or was just being a flirt. Either way if you don't trust him how can this relationship last. Most men flirt given the chance and really doesn't mean he loves you less. If you feel he is not being honest with you maybe you need some time away from each other to see if you are both ready to make the commitment to each other. If he is a flirt and you get married then you have to feel confident in yourself that he only loves you.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 
Dear Auntie Jane -
   My Dad passed away a year ago and I just can't get on with my life. All I think about is why I didn't spend more time with him when he was alive. I was so involved with my own life and friends I really ignored him. He loved sports and we  never even went to a hockey or soccer game together. I can't get over the depression that I feel even after a year. He worked hard all his life to make mine better and I let him down. I know that I cannot change my guilt, but maybe this letter will help some other kids out there who still have their Dads.

Terry

 
Dear  Terry -  

   I hope putting this down will help Terry. We all make mistakes in life, but its usually too late when we realize that we did. Talk to someone about your depression. Parents love their kids regardless of how they are treated. When you become a parent you will understand. Move on with your life as you can't change the past.

 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   What do you say to a friend  who has owed you money for a long time. He seems to have money to travel and buy what he wants. He has never offered to pay me back, I am sure he knows he owes this money to me. Should I ask him for it and take a chance that I will lose him as my friend?

Derek

 
 Dear  Derek -  
   Ask yourself ,would a friend borrow money and not pay it back. Who needs a friend like that. Mention it to him, it's been sometime since you lent him the money and you would appreciate if he paid you back. Give him the benefit that it slipped his  mind. It goes without saying never lend him money again.
    

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am a women in my forties and bisexual. This guy that I have been dating came in on a girlfriend and I in bed. He was so mad he slammed out and has not contacted me since. He never knocked so I feel he is in the wrong and should apologize and we should just move on as we have fun together and the sex is very good with him. Should I phone him?

Samantha

 
Dear  Samantha  -  
   I would leave him alone till he gets his head around finding you with a women. Sounds to me he was not aware of the other side of your sex life. Some men it would not bother, but it sounds like this guy isn't into that scene. Lock your doors from now on, or maybe you wanted him to find you.
    

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am about to marry a man who has a grown family, I am twelve years younger and have been divorced for many years. My ex and I chose not to have kids early in our marriage. My problem is all of a sudden my future husband wants me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement leaving the house we are building to his kids. He wants me to quit my job that I have worked at for many years and have a great position with my company. I have a good size bank account and would be putting money towards the furnishings. I am sure his kids are responsible for this as they have been against him getting married again. I was so surprised at his request I said yes. Now I am thinking of cancelling the wedding I am so hurt. Help!

Taylor

 
Dear  Taylor -  

   If he is twelve years older he will probably go first. Where does he think you will live after he is gone? Why would you put money into a house that does not belong to you. I would dump him and tell him he wants far too much from this relationship. Keep your job and independence, sounds like  he is a jerk and his kids rule his life. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My boyfriend  just dumped me after being together for five years. I saw him leave his apartment with another women who looked like a tramp. I have called him repeatedly for the last week and he won't answer any of my calls. I waited outside his office to talk but she was with him again. What can I do to get him to listen to me and come back?

Kelly

 
Dear  Kelly-  

   What you are doing is stalking him. Leave him alone, if he wants to talk he will make the move to do so. If you keep this up he could file a complaint and get a restraining order against you. Move on with your life as he certainly doesn't seem to be at all interested in having you in his.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I am in a dilemma, I am a widow and have met a man from another state. I would be about a four hour drive from my family. He wants me to come and live with him, neither of us have talked marriage and in no hurry to do so. My kids are totally against this as they say they would not see me as often and I owe it to be close to my grandkids. "Often" means a birthday and the occasional dinner. They go for weeks without phoning and I am the one who usually picks up the phone to call them. Am I being selfish to want to go?

Happy at finding a companion at my age.

 
Dear HAFACAMA -  

   Pack your bags my dear, if your family wants to see you let them plan on driving the four hours. Your not the one that is selfish. It's not like you see them on a daily or weekly basis. If they were so busy as not to phone or visit when you live close, don't count on too many visits that they would have to put themselves out for the four hour drive to see you. Enjoy this experience as we never know how long we will be around.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My friend  broke up with me after being together for two years.  We are gay. She is already in another relationship only having been apart for three weeks. I am so upset that she could find someone so soon.  What hurts most is she is with a guy now. I think she should give me an explanation but she won't take my calls..

Barb

 
Dear  Barb  -  

   Sounds to me like your friend is searching for her sexuality. Maybe when she knows herself she will help you understand her feelings.

    

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   Every time my daughter-in-law invites me over for dinner she sits us all in the kitchen. She has a lovely dinning room with a lovely dinner set that I bought her and she always uses her everyday dishes. The only time we have sat at the the dining room table was at Christmas. How can I break her of this habit, I have mentioned this a few times to her.

Mrs. M

 
Dear   Mrs. M  -  

  With your attitude your lucky to be invited.  Keep your opinions to yourself or you might find that your off the guest list for good.  Hope you don't make her call you Mrs. M.  Sounds like you have too much time on your hands go volunteer or do something useful.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   What is wrong with people? Am I the only one that doesn't drop all my problems on my friends? I can just imagine how you feel with the letters you get from people with so many problems. When I phone a friend and simply ask how is everything with you, they go into a long discussion of everything wrong in their life. When I get off the phone I think they never even asked me how I was doing. Is it time to drop all these losers in my life?

Ginny

 
Dear  Ginny -  

   The problems I am asked are different as I don't know any of these people. It sounds like all your getting from your friends is negative energy and that can be draining if you take them to heart. Everyone needs someone to talk to and ask for input to their problems, its when the same people with the same problems keep coming back that you want to say, " Learn from your mistakes and move on".

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I am a twenty year old male, never had a girlfriend yet. I have many friends in a group that sees each other often for different get-togethers. One of the guys in the group is openly gay and has asked me if I would like to go out for dinner some time. He is very interesting and fun to be around. I am afraid that my friends will think I am gay if I accept his invite. I don't know what my sexual feelings really are at this time as I have nothing to compare it with. Should I go?

Jimmy

 
Dear Jimmy -  

   He asked you out for dinner not to go to bed with him. If he is looking for a boyfriend and your not just make it clear through your conversation that you enjoy his company and say your not looking for a relationship at this time. I would not be worried about  what your other friends are thinking it really isn't any of their concern.

Auntie Jane

 

 


 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My neighbor who is a friend of ours, has separated from her husband. Since she has she comes over more often as I'm sure she is lonely. My problem is she has started flirting with my husband all the time she is here. He just laughs at me when I tell him it bothers me. What can I do to stop her?

Beretta

 
Dear  Beretta  -  

   Tell her  it bothers you and if she continues to do this she is not welcome, lonely or not. She needs to find some other form of entertainment. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My boyfriend is a great person and I love him dearly. He has one problem that really bothers me, he argues with everyone he meets and knows. He has to be right all the time. Some friends of mine will not invite us out as a couple anymore. I have hinted to him about this problem, all he says it's fun to see people get into a lively discussions. How can I get him to stop this horrid habit?

Joanne

 
Dear  Joanne  -  

   Tell him to join a study group that has different topics for discussions and leave your friends alone or you two will have no friends left to enjoy. It is nice to put your opinions forth with friends but you have to know when to shut-up and let them have the floor occasionally. Be firm with him. Nobody is always right.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My mom is a trouble maker, she constantly spread stories about me and my other siblings. She is happiest when one of us is not talking to another. What can we do to stop her insanity?  She has been like this all her life but has gotten worse since our dad passed away. I have had enough of her and haven't talked to her  since Christmas. Now I am her topic of discussion , any suggestion?

Cynthia

 
Dear Cynthia -  

   She sounds like a very unhappy lady and will probably not change at this stage of life. You and your siblings know how she is so just ignore her when she starts in on one of you telling her you're all not interested in negative conversations about people you love. If you all stick together she will eventually realize no one will play her game.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have been divorced for two years and have a girlfriend that is planning a trip to Europe for a month in spring. She has asked me if I would consider coming with her as we get along and enjoy the same music, art appreciation, food and wine. Our expenses would be cut in half for accommodations and car rentals. My only problem is I suspect she may be a lesbian and wonder if that would become an issue.

Kim

 
Dear  Kim  -  

    Having music, art. wine and food in common, certainly sounds like a good holiday companion to me. I can't see why your sexual differences would be a problem unless you make it one. Go with an open mind and enjoy each experience as you travel with a friend.

 

 

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    I married a man three years ago, he has two grown children who have not accepted me into the family. When they have a family dinner they always invite his ex-wife too. I went the first few times and they made me so uncomfortable that I stopped going and told him to go by himself. I know I was partly responsible for the break-up but it takes two to break up a marriage and feel that after this long I should be accepted by them. I want my husband to see his kids, but they refuse to come for dinner at our place. Am I wrong to think his ex should not attend when invited.

Florence

 
Dear  Florence -  

    Sounds like none of your husband family has any class including him. Where is his backbone with his family. He should have stopped this the first time it happened. The ex wife should not be included when they invite the two of you. He should tell them that and if they cannot include you as his wife he will not be attending either. It takes two to tango and grown children should know that your not the only one to blame for the divorce.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I have been married for six years, I love my husband but find he has no interests except sports and his life revolves around all sports. We never go out to a movie or entertain anymore because there is always a game he doesn't want to miss. How can I get him off the chesterfield and out into the world around us?

Lois the widow to sports.

 
Dear  LTWTS -  

   Make plans with or without him.  Start inviting friends over for the evening and making plan to attend a play or meeting people for a dinner at least twice a month. Tell him if he wants you to stick around he has to meet you half way.  If he thinks your going to have fun without him that might jar him into reality. If not then you have to ask yourself if love conquers all.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   What is wrong with people these days? A good friend phoned me a week ago to ask me  to be honest with her and then proceeded  to tell me her problem. I listened and then gave her my advice and she yelled and hung up on me. Haven't heard from her since.

Maryanne

 

 

Dear  Maryanne  -  

   Guess she didn't like your answer. She probably knew what you said was true. Don't worry these types always come back, usually with a similar problem. Some are attention seekers and other are just plain stupid.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   We have a group of friends that all go out together, dinners, concerts and sports events. The problem is one of the guys has a new girlfriend that he plans to marry that nobody gets along  with. We enjoy his company, but the girlfriend is a gossip and has to always be right. Should we drop him and just let the guys carry on a friendship with him outside our group?

Group of eight

 
Dear   GOE -  

   Its not fair to her husband- to-be to lose his friendship with you all. Maybe she doesn't feel like she is part of the click. If she makes him happy you all should be pleased for him. You all sound a bit shallow to me and maybe should try a bit harder to make her part of your eight. If she continues to gossip cut her off and change the subject. Give her a chance to fit in, good friends are hard to come by.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I had sex with my neighbor at  a Christmas party, we all had had a lot to drink and my wife went home to check on the kids. She came on to me so fast it was over in a couple of minutes. Now she keeps calling my cell and asking me to meet her. Should I fess up to my wife and ask her to forgive this indiscretion ?

Mike

 
Dear Mike -  

  You might call it an indiscretion, your wife may not. Make it clear to your neighbor and tell her your not interested in her sexually and it was the biggest mistake you could have made. Tell her to stop calling you and have nothing more to do with her. You may feel better telling your wife but she certainly won't having to live close to her.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   We have new neighbor that moved in beside us. Their children have terrible manners and bang on our door early on the week-ends while we are still  sleeping or eating breakfast. I have told them we are late risers and to please not come over so early. They said their mother told them we should be up  and to ignore me, as I sound crabby. Should I confront this women, I really don't want to be unfriendly, but  its getting out of hand.

Mac family

 
Dear MF-  

   Try taking the high road and go over with some cookies, then ask her to not let her children come over before noon as your week-ends are for family. If it continues then get your husband to talk to the husband saying you would like to be neighborly but find it hard as his children keep waking him up on the week-ends. Smile when you see them, but keep your distance they may be trouble.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My husband has worked for the same company for ten years and never had any problems working with women. Now a new women employee has filed a sexual harassment complain against him. He is upset and went to his boss and told him she had no case against him as he treated her just like any other employee. She had flirted with him and he told her he was not interested as he was happily married. Should he confront her in front of his boss?

Megan

 
Dear   Megan  -  

    His record should be enough for his boss to know he is not that kind of person. I would suggest he tell his boss of her flirting and his rejection.  Other women employees should go to bat for him and the women should be let go on grounds of her harassing him.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I am fourteen and my boobs are small compared to all my friends, I wear padded bra's and never want to change in front of my friends. It is embarrassing when we have sleep over' s I keep my bra on under my pajamas . Someone always has a comment about me being shy. What can I say when they tease me?

Lindy

 
Dear  Lindy   -  

    Don't make a big deal about this, some girls develop sooner and  have smaller frames than others. Just be comfortable with what you have. Just laugh when someone teases you, they will eventually move on to someone else. Your personality is far more important than small boobs, trust me.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   I have been attracted to this women at the gym for about six months. I fantasize about her when I am having sex with my husband. Do you think I may be a lesbian? 

  Maya

 
Dear  Maya -  

   Fantasizing and actually doing it are two very different things.  I certainly wouldn't say you were a lesbian, but maybe you could be bi-sexual. Only time will tell if she is a willing participant. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My Mom and Dad  decided over the holidays that they want to go their separate ways after forty years of marriage. Now my Mom is hinting that she would like to move in with me and husband and kids. They are selling the house and splitting the money and she has suggested that we buy a bigger home so she could have her own suite downstairs. I get along fine with my Mom, but my husband doesn't. What  should I do?

Leila

 
Dear  Leila -  

   If your husband doesn't get along with her that should be the end of the conversation. Your Mom needs to buy her own place and start to make some new friends and take up something to occupy her days and nights. Be supportive to both your Mom and Dad and don't take sides. Let them work out their own problems. They problems are not yours or your husbands.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I have been offered a job in another state, my problems is my boyfriend of two years does not want me to go. He lost his job six months ago so has no ties, except his drinking buddies. I have asked him to come with me so we could start a new life together. I have been supporting him so it would be no different and he could look for work there. I have to make a decision by the New Year, but he won't even discuss the move with me. This job will pay me much more than I am getting now so life would be much easier for us both till he found work. Should I turn down this opportunity as I love him. I think if he loves me he would be happy to come with me. Any ideas as I am miserable ?

Carolyn

 
Dear  Carolyn -  

   If he will not even discuss the move with you then you should take this job offer to better yourself. Tell him you have said yes to the job and will be going with or without him. I bet he will then start to think about how he will be supported with you gone. His buddies must be more important to him than you, let them support him and see how that works for him. Give him a year to grow up, but then you might have fallen in love with someone else and be happy.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My sister lies constantly and I find myself having to get her out of trouble all the time. Then I look like the bad person in front of my family and friends. She promises me she won't involve me then does it again and cries its the last time if I help her just once more. How can I break her habit of lying?  

Sis

 

 

Dear  SIS -  

    Very simple, tell her you will not cover for her again in her deceptions. Then do it. Once she see you will not back her she may learn to play it straight. If not let it be her problem not yours.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
    My family  is very close and we like to just spend it with ourselves through the holiday season. Every year friends and other relatives just drop over uninvited and stay for hours. We  have tried to be diplomatic over the years to no avail. They know we have a new years day dinner and always say we would love to see you is it fine if we drop bye and join you all, always the day before. How can we break this habit?

The MacDonald family

 
Dear  TMF  -  

    When people are that forward you have to just come out and say NO. Someone in your family must have a spine get them to say it is not fine as you have made plans and they are not included this time. When people invite themselves they deserve  to be rude to.

Auntie Jane

 

 


 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks before Christmas. Now he wants to know what I am doing for New Years. I have made plans with some friends to go out to a party. Should I go as planned and leave him alone? He says he has nothing to do and would I like to go to a movie.

Shelia

 
Dear  Shelia  -  

   He was not thinking about you at Christmas, why would you even consider not going to a party to bring the New Year in with friends. Who knows what 2011 will bring you. He sounds very immature let him spend some time thinking about what he has lost. Move on girl unless he has many reasons why he dumped you before the holidays.

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -
   We just got an invitation to go over to a friends house for New Years Eve. Her husband is a leach and none of us want to spend it with him. He always grabs the girls and sticks his tongue down our throats at midnight. How can we let his wife know that he is repulsive to us all.

Karen, Raven, Lisa

 
Dear   Girls -  

   Tell him before hand that throats are off limits. If your with a guy keep him close and warn him before that you want his protection from this tonsil grabber. If he gets close just turn away before he has a chance and say a hug will suffice.  Tell him you have acid reflex if you have to, no tongue!

Auntie Jane

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   We have some friends that always invite themselves over but never invite us to their place over the holiday season. It is getting to bother us that someone would invite themselves over and over again and now we just say we're busy, but feel guilty. Should we just come out and say what's on our minds?

Gerry

 
Dear  Gerry  -  

   Some people just don't like to entertain, or don't want the expense of it all and it's easier for someone else to do it rather than them. Next time they invite themselves over just say when you want company you will let them know. They may get the hint but don't count on it.  

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   I had accepted an invitation to a friends house who has five kids and its always bedlam at their place. A friend called last night and invited me to go skiing for the week-end and know it would be so much more fun. What should I say to get out of the dinner invite?

Mitch

 
Dear   Mitch  -  

   The friends that invited you to dinner seem to be a low priority on your list of friends. What about the commitment that you made to these people when they invited you and you accepted? Nobody needs a friend like you, give your head a shake. Go skiing in the New Year when you have not made plans. I hope these people don't invite you again to share their food and hospitality.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   We have the family Christmas dinner and nobody wants to sit beside Auntie Betty as she never takes a bath. I have told my Mom  and her other sister that they have to tell her she smells and to bath before she comes over. Mom says it would hurt her feeling and she would not come then. Any help would be appreciated by all of us.

Ginger

Dear  Ginger -  

   Tell your Mom to buy her a gift of cologne, it would help and let your Mom and sister sit beside her, if they won't tell her she needs a bath. Sometimes people just need to be told. 

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

Dear Auntie Jane -

   My mother is a terrible cook and always wants to bring her dessert to our Christmas dinner. How can I be discreet without hurting her feelings?

Lindsey

 
Dear  Lindsey -  

   Just say you have found a new desert that you want to try, but she could bring some after dinner chocolates to go with the coffee.

Auntie Jane

 

 

 

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